Since writing the last post, nothing has changed in an employment sense, but I wanted to let you know some of the things God has been teaching me. I still struggled this week with fatigue and the unknown, but that faith – confidence – that God will come through in the 11th hour – so that He alone will receive the glory – has been growing in me.
It helped that we were reading in the beginning of Judges, and I was reminded of the story of Gideon and the 300 men (Judges 6:11-7:25). (Bear with me if you know the story… :) ) There are many things in this story that I don’t fully understand but the wisdom I was supposed to glean from it this time was this – Gideon and an army of 32,000 men were to defeat an army that was “as numerous as locus covering the valley; and their camels were without number, as numerous as the sand of the seashore.” That sounds like a lot of warriors. To me, it would be overwhelming. Then an interesting thing happens. God begins to have Gideon send some of his army home! And not just a few! Only 300 men are left to fight this vast army. Here’s what struck me - the reason that God gives for instructing Gideon to do this is this, “The Lord said to Gideon, ‘The people who are with you are too many for Me to give Midian into their hands, lest Israel become boastful, saying, ‘My own power has delivered me.’’” (!!!) God reminded me that He does what we see as impossible so that there is no doubt that it is He who delivers us! “Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we will trust in the name of the Lord our God!” (Ps 20:7) Although I am to be faithful and actively pursue employment, it will ultimately be God who provides for me, not my stellar cover letter and resume skills. ;)
Again, a week later, I spent the evening with the church. It was so heartening to hear different perspectives on what we read and to see how they all fit together to encourage each of us. I am sharpened by seeing how others interact with God and live out their faith in Him. And I am strengthened by their support and encouragement to keep pressing on and believe that He will provide for me.
Speaking of which, as I looked over my finances this last week, (and a few timely reimbursement checks came in the mail, along with a few more hours working for friends), it looks like I have almost half the money so far for my September bills – Thank You Lord!!
(I’ll confess – I have had a “glass half empty” moment and thought – but I still have a lot to go – but I’m going to take that thought captive and rejoice in God’s provision – one day at a time!!!)
I was also reminded this week, that in my weakness – He is strong! He is stretching me and helping me learn what this means in new ways. Ways that I won’t be able to understand unless I go through seasons like this where I feel my weaknesses so acutely!
Well, I’m going to try to go back to sleep. :) I couldn’t sleep – this post kept going over and over in my mind… So I decided to get up and put it down on paper – or in this case, on microchips. :)
I would love to share in your journey! When you have time, please drop me a note about how you are doing and how I can be an encouragement to you.
Still clinging to Him, Kerrie
(This just in: I just received information that the cost of my health insurance is going up considerably – again! This is the second increase since I left my job [it is kinda like a COBRA plan, I can’t get individual HI]. In addition, my coverage ends in October. I thought I would have insurance through a job by the time this ran out. So if I don’t, that’s another prayer request – I’m not sure what to do about it…)
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Monday, August 10, 2009
Clinging to Him
This update is a little overdue! I can’t believe it’s been 7 months since my last post!! Sorry!
I was just spending time with my church this evening and I was reminded of the blessings that God gives us when we live in community with one another – bearing one another’s burdens and sharing in each other’s joys! It is so great to read God’s word together and let Him speak through each of us as He will. Again, I am so thankful that He’s provided a wonderful home church for me here in Poway! Who knew!
I’d love to tell you in this update that I have it all figured out and that I now see all the reasons why God has sent me on this journey and that I know what He has next for me, but… that’s not the case! I’m still watching and waiting.
A verse I read this week has stuck with me – in Joshua 23:6-11, Joshua is talking to the Israelites, it is near the end of his life and he is encouraging them that if they stay faithful to God that God will continue to fulfill all His promises to them. Part of what he says is, “You are to cling to the LORD your God…” That picture of clinging to the Lord has been a great comfort to me. I started this journey with the picture of daily holding God’s hand; looking to Him for guidance. But as time has worn on, my hand has sometimes slipped and I try to fix things on my own until I realize that my hand is no longer in His. He gently reminds me that He will guide me and I put my hand back into His only to repeat the cycle sometime later. I don’t know how God works with you, but I have seen that it’s always His gentleness and love that draw me back to Him when I seem to have started doing things on my own (Romans 2:4). I needed that reminder this week – to cling to Him!
I have been looking for work now for 7 months and I have come to the end of my savings. My savings should have run out about mid July, but God provided some odd jobs for me to do and I should be able to pay all my bills for August! Thank You, Father! I have applied to so many jobs and in so many different fields I was certain I would have something by now. I have been confident that God would provide, but this week with September’s bills coming soon and no savings or job in sight to be able to pay them – I have begun to wonder if God will provide the way I’m expecting Him to. I’ve realized I have no Plan B. :) Plan A was step out in faith in the direction that God leads me, apply for jobs and trust for God to provide. Part of me wonders if maybe He won’t provide in the way I thought He would (through a job). I have no idea how else He may provide. So I need prayer and encouragement to continue to cling to Him.
I have so much to be thankful for. I have a warm place to live, I have food to eat, and clothes to wear – He has provided so much for me. I have just never been in a place before where I wasn’t able to pay my bills – I’m not sure what to do. Long ago I got rid of any unnecessary expenses but with health insurance, car insurance, student loans, gas… I have over a thousand dollars due the beginning of September and again each month after that.
Because I have tended to be a worrier in the past, I am surprised that it has taken me this long to be concerned about my lack of a job. However, that shows me how much God has grown my faith in these past few years. Apparently, I still have a lot of growth to go through! :) I feel like He’s going to come through in the 11th hour – I’ve seen Him do it so many times before – especially on my trip cross country! But the thoughts that have been coming to me more and more frequently this week have been – what if I’m wrong, what if I’m supposed to be focusing my efforts in a different direction, what if He has provided for my needs (shelter, food) but He won’t provide for my bills….so many questions of whether or not I’m doing it right. As I take every thought captive, I am still confronted with the question of whether or not I should be doing something differently.
As I pray about that, I haven’t been given any answers. Are my questions nudges to change direction or temptations to doubt God’s provision??? Good friends and family have encouraged me to keep pressing on, not to give up – maybe it’s not an accident that I have been reading though Joshua with my church these last few weeks. The theme that comes up over and over again in Joshua is, “Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” (All my kids in Maryland should know that one!!!) :)
I have also been reminded that even if I am making mistakes, that God can make beauty even out of our mistakes if we are seeking Him. I falter between seeking God and just seeking a job - and sometimes I strike the right cord of doing both! For some reason, I have faith that God is going to come through in what I may see as the last minute or the “11th hour” – but if He wants me to be preparing in some other way, I’m not sure what that is or what I’m supposed to be doing. It's beginning to feel like 11:30.
So please keep me in your prayers –
Please pray for strength as I go through these growing pains :)
Please pray for guidance if I do need to be focusing somewhere else
And please pray for provision to be able to pay my upcoming bills
I can’t wait to rejoice with you all over the answers to these prayers!! And to send an update to let you all know how God came through and how He provided, yet again!!!
Clinging to Him, Kerrie ♥
I was just spending time with my church this evening and I was reminded of the blessings that God gives us when we live in community with one another – bearing one another’s burdens and sharing in each other’s joys! It is so great to read God’s word together and let Him speak through each of us as He will. Again, I am so thankful that He’s provided a wonderful home church for me here in Poway! Who knew!
I’d love to tell you in this update that I have it all figured out and that I now see all the reasons why God has sent me on this journey and that I know what He has next for me, but… that’s not the case! I’m still watching and waiting.
A verse I read this week has stuck with me – in Joshua 23:6-11, Joshua is talking to the Israelites, it is near the end of his life and he is encouraging them that if they stay faithful to God that God will continue to fulfill all His promises to them. Part of what he says is, “You are to cling to the LORD your God…” That picture of clinging to the Lord has been a great comfort to me. I started this journey with the picture of daily holding God’s hand; looking to Him for guidance. But as time has worn on, my hand has sometimes slipped and I try to fix things on my own until I realize that my hand is no longer in His. He gently reminds me that He will guide me and I put my hand back into His only to repeat the cycle sometime later. I don’t know how God works with you, but I have seen that it’s always His gentleness and love that draw me back to Him when I seem to have started doing things on my own (Romans 2:4). I needed that reminder this week – to cling to Him!
I have been looking for work now for 7 months and I have come to the end of my savings. My savings should have run out about mid July, but God provided some odd jobs for me to do and I should be able to pay all my bills for August! Thank You, Father! I have applied to so many jobs and in so many different fields I was certain I would have something by now. I have been confident that God would provide, but this week with September’s bills coming soon and no savings or job in sight to be able to pay them – I have begun to wonder if God will provide the way I’m expecting Him to. I’ve realized I have no Plan B. :) Plan A was step out in faith in the direction that God leads me, apply for jobs and trust for God to provide. Part of me wonders if maybe He won’t provide in the way I thought He would (through a job). I have no idea how else He may provide. So I need prayer and encouragement to continue to cling to Him.
I have so much to be thankful for. I have a warm place to live, I have food to eat, and clothes to wear – He has provided so much for me. I have just never been in a place before where I wasn’t able to pay my bills – I’m not sure what to do. Long ago I got rid of any unnecessary expenses but with health insurance, car insurance, student loans, gas… I have over a thousand dollars due the beginning of September and again each month after that.
Because I have tended to be a worrier in the past, I am surprised that it has taken me this long to be concerned about my lack of a job. However, that shows me how much God has grown my faith in these past few years. Apparently, I still have a lot of growth to go through! :) I feel like He’s going to come through in the 11th hour – I’ve seen Him do it so many times before – especially on my trip cross country! But the thoughts that have been coming to me more and more frequently this week have been – what if I’m wrong, what if I’m supposed to be focusing my efforts in a different direction, what if He has provided for my needs (shelter, food) but He won’t provide for my bills….so many questions of whether or not I’m doing it right. As I take every thought captive, I am still confronted with the question of whether or not I should be doing something differently.
As I pray about that, I haven’t been given any answers. Are my questions nudges to change direction or temptations to doubt God’s provision??? Good friends and family have encouraged me to keep pressing on, not to give up – maybe it’s not an accident that I have been reading though Joshua with my church these last few weeks. The theme that comes up over and over again in Joshua is, “Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” (All my kids in Maryland should know that one!!!) :)
I have also been reminded that even if I am making mistakes, that God can make beauty even out of our mistakes if we are seeking Him. I falter between seeking God and just seeking a job - and sometimes I strike the right cord of doing both! For some reason, I have faith that God is going to come through in what I may see as the last minute or the “11th hour” – but if He wants me to be preparing in some other way, I’m not sure what that is or what I’m supposed to be doing. It's beginning to feel like 11:30.
So please keep me in your prayers –
Please pray for strength as I go through these growing pains :)
Please pray for guidance if I do need to be focusing somewhere else
And please pray for provision to be able to pay my upcoming bills
I can’t wait to rejoice with you all over the answers to these prayers!! And to send an update to let you all know how God came through and how He provided, yet again!!!
Clinging to Him, Kerrie ♥
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Total miles traveled so far…
I finally made it to San Diego!!! I decided to postpone seeing the Grand Canyon and visiting the house churches in Las Vegas, NV and Ridgecrest, CA. Four months on the road was starting to wear on me. I think both me and my car needed a rest. :) It has been an amazing adventure. It’s not over yet… I’m not sure how long I will be here in San Diego (Poway, actually). If you’re in the area, give me a call so we can get together. :) Several people have asked me for my address here in San Diego. Please email me (hisprinsess@hotmail.com) and I will send it to you. I don’t want to post it here since it can possibly be seen by anyone.
Thank you to all of you who were praying for me car!!! It was acting up a little on the way to Globe, AZ. I had a mechanic look at it while I was there and he said that it looked good, so the next day, I started my two day trek to San Diego.
I drove from Globe, AZ to Glendale (Phoenix area), to see my great aunt. I hadn’t seen her in 15 years or so. It was great to spend some time with her and her family. I stayed that night with some old friends from San Diego who live in El Mirage (Phoenix area). Charles and Candace have 4 great kids! Candace made us pancakes for breakfast – they were fabulous!!! Candace gave homemade a whole new meaning for me. I know people who make things from “scratch” – but she’s the first person I’ve met who can truly say that! She makes her own flour! I think I saw some wheat stalks in the back yard, but I’m not sure. Pretty impressive! If I ever settle down, I may need to take some lessons from her. :)
So far, I have driven more than 4225 miles! WOW! I still can’t believe it. (even without a GPS!!! MapQuest isn’t perfect, but it got me across the country!)
I moved out of my one bedroom apartment in Maryland at the end of February. I have been living with different families now for 9 ½ months! Since then I have been in 14 different states and stayed with 26 different families (plus 1 former seminary converted into a modest retreat center), 37 different times. I have slept on 19 different beds, 5 couches, 2 aero beds and 1 futon! :) I felt that God was leading me to live in community with others – He has certainly accomplished that! :) More than half of the people I stayed with once I left Maryland, I had never met before! They were friends of friends I got in touch with along my travels. God provided amazingly along this journey!
Thank you to everyone who has taken part in my journey!! Thank you for opening up your home to me, helping me find a place to stay, praying for me, sending me encouraging notes… Thank you again to my family in Maryland who bought me this wonderful laptop and camera! Every time I write these updates, or take pictures of my journey, I think about you! I miss you all. I wish I could visit soon…
A friend of mine is putting together a map of my journey for me (thanks Kari!!) I’ll pass the link on in one of my next updates.
You know that verse that says the Israelites wore the same sandals for 40 years and they didn’t wear out. Please pray for my clothes not to wear out :) (My jeans are looking a bit worn.)
I have spent these last 2 months in San Diego reflecting on my trip, catching up on sleep, visiting the beach, and “detoxing” from the constant need to produce, be busy, or be productive in order to feel of worth. I have also been trying to practice silence and solitude to listen to the Father’s voice better.
A few things God is teaching me (over and over again):
Much of my life these past few months (and years) have been in limbo and plans have changed from one day to the next. I see God teaching me to be flexible and open my eyes to watch Him provide.
After I had packed up my belongings, at the end of February, I went back up to my empty apartment to make sure everything was loaded into the storage bins. As I looked around my now bare apartment, I had an unexpected rush of worry and suddenly felt very alone. Then the next thought that came to me was God gently whispering to me “Kerrie, your life does not consist of your possessions. It is so much more than that, don’t hold on to this, I have something more for you.”
More to come in my next update,
Merry Christmas!!!
Love and miss you, Kerrie
To see pictures from Arizona, click here:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=68591&l=59a80&id=672092186
To see pictures from my return to California, click here:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=68595&l=65f60&id=672092186
Thank you to all of you who were praying for me car!!! It was acting up a little on the way to Globe, AZ. I had a mechanic look at it while I was there and he said that it looked good, so the next day, I started my two day trek to San Diego.
I drove from Globe, AZ to Glendale (Phoenix area), to see my great aunt. I hadn’t seen her in 15 years or so. It was great to spend some time with her and her family. I stayed that night with some old friends from San Diego who live in El Mirage (Phoenix area). Charles and Candace have 4 great kids! Candace made us pancakes for breakfast – they were fabulous!!! Candace gave homemade a whole new meaning for me. I know people who make things from “scratch” – but she’s the first person I’ve met who can truly say that! She makes her own flour! I think I saw some wheat stalks in the back yard, but I’m not sure. Pretty impressive! If I ever settle down, I may need to take some lessons from her. :)
So far, I have driven more than 4225 miles! WOW! I still can’t believe it. (even without a GPS!!! MapQuest isn’t perfect, but it got me across the country!)
I moved out of my one bedroom apartment in Maryland at the end of February. I have been living with different families now for 9 ½ months! Since then I have been in 14 different states and stayed with 26 different families (plus 1 former seminary converted into a modest retreat center), 37 different times. I have slept on 19 different beds, 5 couches, 2 aero beds and 1 futon! :) I felt that God was leading me to live in community with others – He has certainly accomplished that! :) More than half of the people I stayed with once I left Maryland, I had never met before! They were friends of friends I got in touch with along my travels. God provided amazingly along this journey!
Thank you to everyone who has taken part in my journey!! Thank you for opening up your home to me, helping me find a place to stay, praying for me, sending me encouraging notes… Thank you again to my family in Maryland who bought me this wonderful laptop and camera! Every time I write these updates, or take pictures of my journey, I think about you! I miss you all. I wish I could visit soon…
A friend of mine is putting together a map of my journey for me (thanks Kari!!) I’ll pass the link on in one of my next updates.
You know that verse that says the Israelites wore the same sandals for 40 years and they didn’t wear out. Please pray for my clothes not to wear out :) (My jeans are looking a bit worn.)
I have spent these last 2 months in San Diego reflecting on my trip, catching up on sleep, visiting the beach, and “detoxing” from the constant need to produce, be busy, or be productive in order to feel of worth. I have also been trying to practice silence and solitude to listen to the Father’s voice better.
A few things God is teaching me (over and over again):
Much of my life these past few months (and years) have been in limbo and plans have changed from one day to the next. I see God teaching me to be flexible and open my eyes to watch Him provide.
After I had packed up my belongings, at the end of February, I went back up to my empty apartment to make sure everything was loaded into the storage bins. As I looked around my now bare apartment, I had an unexpected rush of worry and suddenly felt very alone. Then the next thought that came to me was God gently whispering to me “Kerrie, your life does not consist of your possessions. It is so much more than that, don’t hold on to this, I have something more for you.”
More to come in my next update,
Merry Christmas!!!
Love and miss you, Kerrie
To see pictures from Arizona, click here:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=68591&l=59a80&id=672092186
To see pictures from my return to California, click here:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=68595&l=65f60&id=672092186
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Overwhelmed by God…
Detour number … oh I lost count… :)
In the past few weeks, I have gone through some difficult days and yet God has spoken over me in amazing ways. I am overwhelmed by His greatness, vastness, immenseness… I can’t even put it into words… I have been struggling with it for weeks. It has been truly humbling and overwhelming to be confronted with just a glimpse of it…
A few weekends ago, I was feeling very alone after being on the road for 3 month and not being in constant fellowship with anyone, yet meeting and staying with new people constantly.
Another detour took me from Wichita Falls, TX (where I was staying with my sister) to Dallas. While in Dallas, I visited an organic church called Awaking Chapel (thanks Randy & Adele for the connection to Joseph Catrwright). It was an amazing example of how God’s church can function with each believer being able to act in the gifts that the Holy Spirit gives. It was beautiful and encouraging.
I got completely lost on my way to the meeting so I arrived late (fyi - mapquest and Dallas roads do not go together :)) They were singing when I walked in, so I didn’t get a chance to meet anyone until afterward. No one but Joseph, one of the leaders, knew my story of traveling and that I would be visiting that night.
During one point in the evening, one of the other men in the church was asked if he had anything to share. He looked at me and asked my name and where I was from. Then he shared that while we were singing and praying, God had given him a picture of me carrying a suitcase. He said something along the lines of, “I don’t know what it means, but it’s a picture of you with just one suitcase,” and then he said that God kept bringing the word “Faith” to him over and over again. He continued saying something like, “you’re on a journey of faith. Not like we may talk about faith in our everyday lives, but dramatic faith. Needing faith for each step and each day. You won’t always know the answers but you will have to exercise faith and trust God.”
I can’t remember everything he said because I was a little blown away. I just remember the picture of me carrying the suitcase and that He kept talking about faith over and over again. He was so right on! My journey has been a daily walk of faith (even though I falter all through it). Joseph looked amazed and looked from me to the young man and said “I didn’t tell them you were coming or about your journey! That was all God!” I was so blessed to see God work through His church this way. I did not grow up in churches where we were encouraged to “participate” in the meeting or worship time (or whatever you want to call it), by being able to, in a free and orderly manner, speak what we heard God saying to the church or use our spiritual gifts to edify one another. (Unless you consider teaching children the only spiritual gift – because that one was always needed and encouraged :)) I have prayed and asked God to see Him work in this way through His church; the way He designed us to be - encouraging one another, spurring one another on, and lifting each other up… Everyone participating as God leads, not mere bystanders watching a speaker or performance. I am amazed again by how God has answered my prayers!
After he shared that with us, I told them a little about my journey and that I had been struggling the last few days. They asked to pray with me and one of the older women said, “She’s a pastor.” I thought she meant I worked at a church as a children’s pastor before I started traveling. I hadn’t met her yet and wondered if someone had told her. Joseph asked her what she meant and she said that when I walked in the door, God said to her, “she’s a pastor.” This was a huge confirmation to me because God showed me in my teens that He had designed me that way. However, since I attended a Baptist church, I was taught that women could not be pastors. So I was confused and thought “I can’t be my spiritual gift?” Since then, I have come to understand what the bible means when it talks about the pastor/sheppard function (they are the same word in the bible). It’s not a job or a position in the church, as we commonly call the man in the pulpit who preaches and “runs” the traditional modern church. Biblically, a pastor is someone who sheppards people, gathering them, caring for them, walking with them in their journey, discipling them…
As they prayed for me, God continued to speak words of encouragement to me through them. By the end of the evening, God was confirming for me that He wanted to solidify my understanding of my identity in Him. I have gone through different times in my life alternating between understanding and trusting and then not trusting my identity and relationship with Him. So this is the journey I am on now. To really understand my identity in Him. It’s humbling, a little scary, a stripping away of everything I find my identity in except Him.
I had several offers to stay in Dallas and wondered about whether I should continue on in the direction of CA or stay. Through Joseph, I was able to get in touch with another organic church in Globe, AZ. So after much prayer, I continued on my journey to Arizona.
I took the trip in three parts. The first day, I drove to Odessa, TX and stayed with my sister’s, sister-in-law. The next day I drove through Roswell, NM on my way to Albuquerque. I spent a few hours wondering around Roswell. (Follow the link below to see some fun pictures.) The third day, I drove to Globe, AZ. Driving through New Mexico brought a smile to my face. It reminded me of the drive through the Mojave desert to Ridgecrest, CA from San Diego, up the 395. The drive from Albuquerque to northern AZ was beautiful!!! The pictures don’t do it justice, the colors were so rich. From northern AZ to Globe (about 1 ½ hours east of Phoenix), I drove through some forests, reservations, and the Salt River Canyon. It was truly breathtaking! Gorgeous!! For about 2 hours I was driving through a windy mountain road. About an hour into the drive, my car started making some whining noises and felt like it wasn’t driving as well. It was dusk, I had no cell service and I began wondering what I would do if my car decided it couldn’t make it. I began praying and singing praises and I was so thankful when I finally saw signs of a city. :)
God has gotten my old, beat up car farther than I ever thought it could go (and farther than I really know it has gone, since the odometer stopped over 3 years ago!) I am so thankful for His protection on this journey alone with Him across the country. The song that keeps coming to my mind as I write this is, “Lord, I’m amazed by You. Lord, I’m amazed by You, and how You love me…” Although, I don’t always “feel” that love, I am reminded that love is not a feeling, it’s a choice. I can trust God’s love for me even when (especially when) I don’t “feel” it. Experiences like this trip are memorials, reminders, that I can look back on and see God’s love and provision in action. What memorials are in your life? Times that you can look back on, when you are wondering in the desert, of how He has shown His love to you? I hope to get another update to you soon.
To see pictures from Wichita Falls, TX, click here:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=51550&l=b07d5&id=672092186
To see pictures from my travels from TX to NM (including Roswell, NM), click here:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=55588&l=241b5&id=672092186
Pictures of Arizona will be in the next update...
Can’t wait to hear from you guys, love, Kerrie
In the past few weeks, I have gone through some difficult days and yet God has spoken over me in amazing ways. I am overwhelmed by His greatness, vastness, immenseness… I can’t even put it into words… I have been struggling with it for weeks. It has been truly humbling and overwhelming to be confronted with just a glimpse of it…
A few weekends ago, I was feeling very alone after being on the road for 3 month and not being in constant fellowship with anyone, yet meeting and staying with new people constantly.
Another detour took me from Wichita Falls, TX (where I was staying with my sister) to Dallas. While in Dallas, I visited an organic church called Awaking Chapel (thanks Randy & Adele for the connection to Joseph Catrwright). It was an amazing example of how God’s church can function with each believer being able to act in the gifts that the Holy Spirit gives. It was beautiful and encouraging.
I got completely lost on my way to the meeting so I arrived late (fyi - mapquest and Dallas roads do not go together :)) They were singing when I walked in, so I didn’t get a chance to meet anyone until afterward. No one but Joseph, one of the leaders, knew my story of traveling and that I would be visiting that night.
During one point in the evening, one of the other men in the church was asked if he had anything to share. He looked at me and asked my name and where I was from. Then he shared that while we were singing and praying, God had given him a picture of me carrying a suitcase. He said something along the lines of, “I don’t know what it means, but it’s a picture of you with just one suitcase,” and then he said that God kept bringing the word “Faith” to him over and over again. He continued saying something like, “you’re on a journey of faith. Not like we may talk about faith in our everyday lives, but dramatic faith. Needing faith for each step and each day. You won’t always know the answers but you will have to exercise faith and trust God.”
I can’t remember everything he said because I was a little blown away. I just remember the picture of me carrying the suitcase and that He kept talking about faith over and over again. He was so right on! My journey has been a daily walk of faith (even though I falter all through it). Joseph looked amazed and looked from me to the young man and said “I didn’t tell them you were coming or about your journey! That was all God!” I was so blessed to see God work through His church this way. I did not grow up in churches where we were encouraged to “participate” in the meeting or worship time (or whatever you want to call it), by being able to, in a free and orderly manner, speak what we heard God saying to the church or use our spiritual gifts to edify one another. (Unless you consider teaching children the only spiritual gift – because that one was always needed and encouraged :)) I have prayed and asked God to see Him work in this way through His church; the way He designed us to be - encouraging one another, spurring one another on, and lifting each other up… Everyone participating as God leads, not mere bystanders watching a speaker or performance. I am amazed again by how God has answered my prayers!
After he shared that with us, I told them a little about my journey and that I had been struggling the last few days. They asked to pray with me and one of the older women said, “She’s a pastor.” I thought she meant I worked at a church as a children’s pastor before I started traveling. I hadn’t met her yet and wondered if someone had told her. Joseph asked her what she meant and she said that when I walked in the door, God said to her, “she’s a pastor.” This was a huge confirmation to me because God showed me in my teens that He had designed me that way. However, since I attended a Baptist church, I was taught that women could not be pastors. So I was confused and thought “I can’t be my spiritual gift?” Since then, I have come to understand what the bible means when it talks about the pastor/sheppard function (they are the same word in the bible). It’s not a job or a position in the church, as we commonly call the man in the pulpit who preaches and “runs” the traditional modern church. Biblically, a pastor is someone who sheppards people, gathering them, caring for them, walking with them in their journey, discipling them…
As they prayed for me, God continued to speak words of encouragement to me through them. By the end of the evening, God was confirming for me that He wanted to solidify my understanding of my identity in Him. I have gone through different times in my life alternating between understanding and trusting and then not trusting my identity and relationship with Him. So this is the journey I am on now. To really understand my identity in Him. It’s humbling, a little scary, a stripping away of everything I find my identity in except Him.
I had several offers to stay in Dallas and wondered about whether I should continue on in the direction of CA or stay. Through Joseph, I was able to get in touch with another organic church in Globe, AZ. So after much prayer, I continued on my journey to Arizona.
I took the trip in three parts. The first day, I drove to Odessa, TX and stayed with my sister’s, sister-in-law. The next day I drove through Roswell, NM on my way to Albuquerque. I spent a few hours wondering around Roswell. (Follow the link below to see some fun pictures.) The third day, I drove to Globe, AZ. Driving through New Mexico brought a smile to my face. It reminded me of the drive through the Mojave desert to Ridgecrest, CA from San Diego, up the 395. The drive from Albuquerque to northern AZ was beautiful!!! The pictures don’t do it justice, the colors were so rich. From northern AZ to Globe (about 1 ½ hours east of Phoenix), I drove through some forests, reservations, and the Salt River Canyon. It was truly breathtaking! Gorgeous!! For about 2 hours I was driving through a windy mountain road. About an hour into the drive, my car started making some whining noises and felt like it wasn’t driving as well. It was dusk, I had no cell service and I began wondering what I would do if my car decided it couldn’t make it. I began praying and singing praises and I was so thankful when I finally saw signs of a city. :)
God has gotten my old, beat up car farther than I ever thought it could go (and farther than I really know it has gone, since the odometer stopped over 3 years ago!) I am so thankful for His protection on this journey alone with Him across the country. The song that keeps coming to my mind as I write this is, “Lord, I’m amazed by You. Lord, I’m amazed by You, and how You love me…” Although, I don’t always “feel” that love, I am reminded that love is not a feeling, it’s a choice. I can trust God’s love for me even when (especially when) I don’t “feel” it. Experiences like this trip are memorials, reminders, that I can look back on and see God’s love and provision in action. What memorials are in your life? Times that you can look back on, when you are wondering in the desert, of how He has shown His love to you? I hope to get another update to you soon.
To see pictures from Wichita Falls, TX, click here:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=51550&l=b07d5&id=672092186
To see pictures from my travels from TX to NM (including Roswell, NM), click here:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=55588&l=241b5&id=672092186
Pictures of Arizona will be in the next update...
Can’t wait to hear from you guys, love, Kerrie
Friday, September 12, 2008
Amazing people and our even more Amazing God!!!
For those of you who have been wondering where and when I have been in different places, I made a timeline of sorts on my blog. It lists the locations (with dates and picture links) of each of the places I’ve visited so far. I also added some great music to the site – check it out. http://hisprinsess.blogspot.com/ (I'm hoping to get a map up soon...)
Sorry, it’s been a while since I’ve updated everyone. I had an update all written out and ready to send – then my computer shut down and I lost it all!
The last time I updated you (beside the previous post, which back-tracked to New Orleans), I was in Alabama house sitting for some good friends that I knew from Maryland (Bill & Melody O’Sullivan). I was in a little bit of limbo, not knowing what would work out next or exactly where I would be staying on my way to Austin, TX.
A friend of mine (thanks, Randy) was helping me get in touch with a couple who had started a house church in Maryland and then moved to Jackson, MS. It worked out for me to stay with them for a night in Jackson. What a Blessing! It was so great to meet Carrie and Kevin and talk about their experiences with house church and to spend time with their family! I am so grateful for all the amazing people our Amazing God has introduced me to on this journey. I hope to be able to keep in touch with all of them.
I used to think it was hot in August in Maryland. However, after spending time in AL and MS, I have a new definition of hot and humid! After a very long, hot ride, I arrived in Jackson on Tuesday night, July 29. During a delicious dinner, they asked me where I would be staying the next night. I told them that I didn’t know yet! I wanted to stay somewhere near Tyler, TX because that would be a good halfway point on the way to Austin. They said they had some friends who just happened to live right outside Tyler in Mineola! They offered to call them and see if they would mind an overnight guest the following evening. Late that night, we received a call from their friends who were willing to open their house to a strange wanderer. So the following night, I met another great couple and God amazed me again by His provision!
I left the small town of Mineola, TX on Thursday, July 31. I encountered much traffic and road work along the way but finally arrived in Austin, TX that night!
My plans for my stay in Austin changed several times before I arrived there; so I was excited to see what God would show me during my visit. I had a Dr. appointment in MD in August that I had to get back for. Right when I thought I had everything worked out - plane tickets, places to stay in Austin and MD, rides to and from the airport…things fell apart! Some places that I was going to stay ended up not working out and I wasn’t sure how I was getting to the airport. Then my Drs office called and said they had to reschedule my apt for the following week. The only problem was that I would already be back in Austin for the new date. My first response was to get mad! Thankfully, God quickly whispered to me to trust that He had a better plan that was working itself out. So, after asking forgiveness, I asked Him to show me how He was working all this out for His good. I hadn’t bought my tickets to MD yet, for various reasons. So, after some prayer, I had a peace about buying my tickets for a week later, even though, I didn’t know where I would stay in Austin for an extra week. This whole journey has been a great adventure in waiting on God and then seeing Him lead and provide.
And provide He did! There is a couple in Austin who are very involved in house church ministries, Tony & Felicity Dale. I had emailed them about an interview. We had set up a date and then I had to let them know that my plans had changed again and I wasn’t sure when I would be in Austin because things were not working out. They emailed me back and graciously offered to let me stay with them during my visit to Austin! That was such a huge blessing. I was just hoping to get to interview them about their 20+ years of experience in house church ministries, both here and overseas, but God orchestrated an even greater thing than I had hoped for. I was able to stay the whole two weeks with them and learn from their experiences, visit the house churches they were in contact with in Austin, and even read some of their books! (Very cool to have the author’s right there when you have a question about what you’ve read – I often wish that could happen when I’m reading C.S. Lewis!) :)
I visited several house churches during my stay in Austin. All different kinds – like different families. I love how Christ’s church is vibrant in this simple expression. Starting with a meal together is so comforting and really helps people feel like the extended spiritual family that we are meant to be. Then sharing time in prayer, singing, waiting on God to lead, everyone being able to participate by sharing what God’s been doing in their lives, praying for others… very exciting!!
I also have a good friend from San Diego that lives in Austin. She was a wonderful tour guide and took me all around the city and we even went on a road trip to San Antonio. I'll tell you more in my next update.
I have to go now - I'm trying to figure out my next stops on the way to AZ. I think I will be driving from Wichita Falls, TX to Roswell, NM, then onto AZ. Anyone live along that route and want to get together? I would love to visit some house churches in AZ, please let me know if you have any contacts there. I also want to drive through the painted desert and see the Grand Canyon!!! So excited!! I love the desert - it really can be beautiful! :)
Sorry this post was so long!
To see pictures from my Austin Experience, click here:
http://www.new.facebook.com/album.php?aid=51547&l=52dfb&id=672092186
To see pictures from AL, MS, LA & east TX (for those from LSBC, there is a picture of Bill & Melody, here) click here:
http://www.new.facebook.com/album.php?aid=50304&l=05861&id=672092186
Some Odds and Ends -
I have traveled over 2000 miles and Texas is the first place I have run into bad traffic. I thought everything was supposed to be bigger in Texas – what happened to the roads????
The town of West, TX, is actually in east Texas. As I drove through there, I wondered about the geographical sensibilities of the people who founded that town. :)
Want to find cheap gas…travel cross-country. Over a month ago, when gas was $4.09 in MD and $4.29 in San Diego, I saw gas for $3.42 in MS. Unfortunately, I had just filled up about 20 minutes earlier when I saw gas for $3.89, because that was the cheapest I had seen it in months.
Happy trails…until we meet again… love ya, Kerrie
Sorry, it’s been a while since I’ve updated everyone. I had an update all written out and ready to send – then my computer shut down and I lost it all!
The last time I updated you (beside the previous post, which back-tracked to New Orleans), I was in Alabama house sitting for some good friends that I knew from Maryland (Bill & Melody O’Sullivan). I was in a little bit of limbo, not knowing what would work out next or exactly where I would be staying on my way to Austin, TX.
A friend of mine (thanks, Randy) was helping me get in touch with a couple who had started a house church in Maryland and then moved to Jackson, MS. It worked out for me to stay with them for a night in Jackson. What a Blessing! It was so great to meet Carrie and Kevin and talk about their experiences with house church and to spend time with their family! I am so grateful for all the amazing people our Amazing God has introduced me to on this journey. I hope to be able to keep in touch with all of them.
I used to think it was hot in August in Maryland. However, after spending time in AL and MS, I have a new definition of hot and humid! After a very long, hot ride, I arrived in Jackson on Tuesday night, July 29. During a delicious dinner, they asked me where I would be staying the next night. I told them that I didn’t know yet! I wanted to stay somewhere near Tyler, TX because that would be a good halfway point on the way to Austin. They said they had some friends who just happened to live right outside Tyler in Mineola! They offered to call them and see if they would mind an overnight guest the following evening. Late that night, we received a call from their friends who were willing to open their house to a strange wanderer. So the following night, I met another great couple and God amazed me again by His provision!
I left the small town of Mineola, TX on Thursday, July 31. I encountered much traffic and road work along the way but finally arrived in Austin, TX that night!
My plans for my stay in Austin changed several times before I arrived there; so I was excited to see what God would show me during my visit. I had a Dr. appointment in MD in August that I had to get back for. Right when I thought I had everything worked out - plane tickets, places to stay in Austin and MD, rides to and from the airport…things fell apart! Some places that I was going to stay ended up not working out and I wasn’t sure how I was getting to the airport. Then my Drs office called and said they had to reschedule my apt for the following week. The only problem was that I would already be back in Austin for the new date. My first response was to get mad! Thankfully, God quickly whispered to me to trust that He had a better plan that was working itself out. So, after asking forgiveness, I asked Him to show me how He was working all this out for His good. I hadn’t bought my tickets to MD yet, for various reasons. So, after some prayer, I had a peace about buying my tickets for a week later, even though, I didn’t know where I would stay in Austin for an extra week. This whole journey has been a great adventure in waiting on God and then seeing Him lead and provide.
And provide He did! There is a couple in Austin who are very involved in house church ministries, Tony & Felicity Dale. I had emailed them about an interview. We had set up a date and then I had to let them know that my plans had changed again and I wasn’t sure when I would be in Austin because things were not working out. They emailed me back and graciously offered to let me stay with them during my visit to Austin! That was such a huge blessing. I was just hoping to get to interview them about their 20+ years of experience in house church ministries, both here and overseas, but God orchestrated an even greater thing than I had hoped for. I was able to stay the whole two weeks with them and learn from their experiences, visit the house churches they were in contact with in Austin, and even read some of their books! (Very cool to have the author’s right there when you have a question about what you’ve read – I often wish that could happen when I’m reading C.S. Lewis!) :)
I visited several house churches during my stay in Austin. All different kinds – like different families. I love how Christ’s church is vibrant in this simple expression. Starting with a meal together is so comforting and really helps people feel like the extended spiritual family that we are meant to be. Then sharing time in prayer, singing, waiting on God to lead, everyone being able to participate by sharing what God’s been doing in their lives, praying for others… very exciting!!
I also have a good friend from San Diego that lives in Austin. She was a wonderful tour guide and took me all around the city and we even went on a road trip to San Antonio. I'll tell you more in my next update.
I have to go now - I'm trying to figure out my next stops on the way to AZ. I think I will be driving from Wichita Falls, TX to Roswell, NM, then onto AZ. Anyone live along that route and want to get together? I would love to visit some house churches in AZ, please let me know if you have any contacts there. I also want to drive through the painted desert and see the Grand Canyon!!! So excited!! I love the desert - it really can be beautiful! :)
Sorry this post was so long!
To see pictures from my Austin Experience, click here:
http://www.new.facebook.com/album.php?aid=51547&l=52dfb&id=672092186
To see pictures from AL, MS, LA & east TX (for those from LSBC, there is a picture of Bill & Melody, here) click here:
http://www.new.facebook.com/album.php?aid=50304&l=05861&id=672092186
Some Odds and Ends -
I have traveled over 2000 miles and Texas is the first place I have run into bad traffic. I thought everything was supposed to be bigger in Texas – what happened to the roads????
The town of West, TX, is actually in east Texas. As I drove through there, I wondered about the geographical sensibilities of the people who founded that town. :)
Want to find cheap gas…travel cross-country. Over a month ago, when gas was $4.09 in MD and $4.29 in San Diego, I saw gas for $3.42 in MS. Unfortunately, I had just filled up about 20 minutes earlier when I saw gas for $3.89, because that was the cheapest I had seen it in months.
Happy trails…until we meet again… love ya, Kerrie
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